Standing Alone

Standing Alone in a World of Sin

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I was a virgin when I married my wife. In those "old days" it was not unusual for a woman to be a virgin but a double standard winked at the sins of young men. Why have we considered it progress to lower the women to the worst level men sank to? I admit many sins, but every year I have shared with my bride increases the regrets that there are things for which she was not the first-- I wish, oh how I wish hers wee the first lips I kissed.

Faithfulness and fidelity have come back in vogue since September 11, but only for firefighters and policemen who are true to their mission to save lives. "Temptation Island" exhibits the cultural attitude toward fidelity in relationships. And, does it not say much that if two fornicate exclusively with one another for a week or more, it is a "relationship?" Somehow more respectable? Adultery, divorce and remarriage, and the acceptance of them as normal show that most no longer consider faithfulness to be important. As the sailor who loves the girl he is with, we have become a society who is true to the one we are with... for now. How badly christian's minds have been corrupted by these attitudes can be measured by the numbers who watch "Temptation Island," who excite themselves with the twisted stories on daytime talk shows, who submerse themselves in the adulterous and evil lives of soap opera characters.

I was a virgin when I married my wife and I have been true to my vows in my body and with my heart. I have focused my faithfulness so that if opportunities existed, I did not notice them; if passes were made, I felt insulted. In fact, I believe I have conducted my public life in a way that communicated my unavailability so strongly that few bothered. (And I am not so ugly as to turn aside all!)

Why are men and women ashamed to declare this fidelity? We have yielded the fight to the locker room braggarts and their stories of conquests. We have left our young people to envy them as they regretfully turn away from sin-- if they do! When does humility become "hiding you light under a bushel?" Why do we let sin be held forth as a desirable thing we cannot have for the fear of hell? God's way is the best way; the most joyful way. Let us speak out and shine a light for truth and Jesus.

I was a virgin when I married. Did not Jesus set this standard-- a virgin to his virgin the church and faithful for eternity (Eph 5:25 ff). If one set his goal to be like him, how can he baptize himself in the attitudes that glorify shame and adultery in movies, TV and his associations? We need not come out of the world to separate ourselves from the world.

A man belongs to his wife and she to him though they have not yet met (1Cor 7:1-4). Neither has the right to rob the other by giving himself to another. Petting is a grievous sin that robs joy from the marriage one has not yet vowed. Did Christ do this? Since he had not yet "met" the church before his incarnation, did he give himself to others? God forgive me for even asking such, but we must see the importance of fidelity.

"Faithful in little, faithful in much," Jesus said. How can I believe a young person will be faithful to his mate when he/she is unfaithful to his parent's rules? When he thinks he won't be caught, he breaks them; having said she would be at one place, she goes to another she suspects they might disapprove of; etc. On the other hand, being true to oneself by doing one's best in schoolwork, on the job, with chores at home, with what one does when no one will ever know, is a certain predictor of faithfulness in marriage. Faithfulness to God, to the vows made at our baptism, is the sum of one's fidelity to his parents, to his spouse, to his job.

The good news of Jesus (gospel) is that one can be made pure. Jesus died to make the church, his bride, spotless. We were not and are not but we can become so through "Christ in you the hope of Glory" (Col 1:27).

Submitted by Keith Ward